Did you know that reading is a fundamentally a selfish and self centered activity?  Growing up, reading was a way for me to escape my difficult life.  Don't get me wrong, it wasn't a bad life.  I had a nice home, two working parents, plenty to eat.  But I was different.  My sister had that label, too. Bullied and harassed on a daily basis, not ever really understanding what was wrong with me, I read. A lot.  A lot, a lot.  Back then, I tended toward fantasy novels.  David Eddings was one of my early favorites.  I also read the Anne of Green Gables series so much that my paperbacks fell apart.  All of L. M. Montgomery's books were well loved.  

When I became an adult, reading a book was still so much easier than facing real life.  Difficult day? Go lose yourself in Barnes and Noble.  So many books, so little time.  A good book was like crack to me.  I stayed up late, read during meals, skipped dates.  No one ever really told me to take a step back and put the book down.  And I was so addicted, it never occurred to me that I needed to.

Then I met someone who was much more action driven.  Didn't read much, unless it was a manual to fix or build something. We didn't really speak each other's language.  I am an introvert, through and through.  I need that quiet down time.  He is an extrovert and thrives on bustle and noise.  Somehow, we have made it work.  

But now I have a family.  A job.  Responsibilities.  Reading is a guilty pleasure for me.  After I get home from work, cook, clean, help with homework, do the bedtime ritual for my daughter, I have very limited time.  Sitting down to read a book feels like I am neglecting my duties.  There are dirty dishes to clean.  Laundry to fold.  A spouse to talk to.  And trust me, you can't read and carry on a conversation at the same time.  I've tried, it wasn't pretty.

So that leaves me with guilt.  I should be doing something that has an outcome.  Sewing, crafting, weaving, making paper mache globes, knitting sweaters for penguins.  But all I really want to do is read.  Is that so bad?